On being a ‘love finder’ versus being a ‘fault finder’

One of the interesting areas of the spiritual path that many people find difficult to reconcile is that of finding a balance between keeping a spiritual perception of (and perspective on) any given situation or person, whilst at the same time being able to recognize and deal with our own and other people’s manifest flaws and imperfections.
How can we be a ‘love finder’, seeing the good qualities in all around us, whilst at the same time being a ‘fault finder’ in the sense of making an accurate assessment of what needs to be improved?
This came up in a question that I was recently asked by a student; I have placed my answer along with the question below…

Here is the question:
“My question as I take this to heart and practice in my daily life is: Knowing that in any situation there is always room for improvement, am I being a “fault-finder’ if I call out the areas for improvement? Teachers do it to help students do better and I know I do it with my employees. So it is not that we regard everything as perfect, but that we point out the needed areas for improvement in a loving way – not in a malicious, scandalous or critical manner. Likewise, I should be prepared to take the same “constructive” criticism and not feel slighted when these are offered to me. I will be thankful if these are offered in a loving manner. Should it be the case that it is offered to me in a manner that is “destructive” – I will ensure that I have my golden bubble of protection around me so that these “attack” thoughts and arrows do not penetrate and get through to me. Is the above interpretation correct in terms of how I can practice this principle of being a Love Finder?”

Here is my answer:
The first point here is that to stop being a fault finder should not mean that we lose our faculties of discernment and ability clearly to identify areas that need improvement in ourselves, others and life situations. As you observe, it is part of the function of a teacher, mentor (and sometimes a parent) to point out the faults of those in their charge in order to help them improve. So, if you are in a position of responsibility toward others, then it is actually your responsibility to point out their faults and help them improve :-) However, when you do this you are not losing sight of the inherent perfection and worthiness that they possess within them.
There are basically two extremes here - the first is to see others’ faults, which then causes you to see them as inherently bad and faulty. The other extreme is only to see the pure spirit within the person, and lose your ability to discern the conventional faults and areas where that person is making mistakes. In fact, both of these extremes are of the negative ego, although the latter is more subtly so.
The Christed or ‘integrated spiritual’ balance is found in seeing the inherent purity within people, but without losing your ability to see clearly their faults and articulate the solutions to these flaws in a clear way.

Regarding others who point out our faults with a negative and/or malicious motivation, you are right in that keeping up your golden bubble of protection and preventing any attack energy getting to you is really the way to go. If you do this, you will also then be in a position to see any constructive feedback that you can take from their criticism. Just because their motivation is faulty, does not mean that there may not be some truth in what they are saying!!

In terms of mentoring employees and our children, I feel showing them how to receive criticism and feedback in a constructive way is really a huge gift that we can give them. If they are able to receive this in a positive and objective way, then that really opens the door for them to a lifetime of learning, improvement and truly increases their ability to achieve to their highest potential.
I think even personality level life coaches would see this to be the case. For example I remember reading a book by Robert Kiyosaki (the founder of the 'rich dad' series of books on finance and wealth management), the final chapter of which was a list of his 'golden keys' to success. One of the major ones was being able to receive feedback and criticism in an open and positive way.